I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
