How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
