Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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