She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
