Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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