Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He has the fingertips of a God
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