we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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