Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
