cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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