He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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