State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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