Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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