I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
