How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize