I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
