it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
