No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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