So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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