so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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