why didn't you poke me back
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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