I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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