She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
