Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
