dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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