sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
