So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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