my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize