There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Blood and glitter go together right?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
