i love accidental penises.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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