I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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