Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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