Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
