she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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