i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize