How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
