the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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