I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
