I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
