tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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