but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There's even glitter on my cock...
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