And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize