his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
