At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
