i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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