I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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