The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
