If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize