And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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