i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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