Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
