love makes seman taste better
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
