Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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