Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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