Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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