if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize