i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
