Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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