I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize