So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My ATM looks so different sober.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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