you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
