yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she told me i tasted like america
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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