Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
