Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
