4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
